All the world's a stage

i dress for myself, but if someone important to me says something critical, i take that into consideration. that said, i’ve accepted that my style does not appeal to everyone (and while we don’t wear our politics or philosophies on our sleeves, our very sleeves themselves seem as capable as weightier issues are of offending or intriguing others). while my style is generally not too remarkable, i am not adverse to the occasional large tulle bow, or dressing about 2 degrees more formal than the circumstances might call for.
i don’t tend to consider my audience (who i will be seeing, etc. over the course of each day), which is a privilege that is not lost on me. and as i wrote in my comment under the style (stīl): post below, i do not dress to be sexy, so take that off the list of motivations. i am always pleased to receive a compliment, but my most important critic is myself.

besides yourself, who else (partner, environment, peers) do you consider when you get dressed/shop? does that pressure undermine your style at all?


Iheartfashion said...

It was a different story in high school, but thankfully I've outgrown the need to dress to impress. I do tend to be the most dressed up one in the room on occasion, but only because I like to. Whether I'm going anywhere or not, I refuse to lounge about in velour tracksuits or the like; to me that just says "I've given up." Might as well turn on daytime TV while I'm at it.
That said, I enjoy dressing to please my husband (which doesn't necessarily mean "sexy" looks; he appreciates the Prada/Marni aesthetic perhaps more than the average hetero male).

Anonymous said...

Interestng Q to me as the issue of dress is being discussed in a group I belong to. There is one particular woman who is really sensitive to modesty or lack thereof. She is a breast cancer survivor who oted for a mastectomy.

I don't want to offend her but at the same time I can't help but feel slightly resentful that maybe my most immodest summer "uniform" (tank top and skinny jeans, ballet flats) may be something that does offend her. It's sort of a rock and a hard place for me right now because I am not the sort to be deliberately unkind.

Yesterday I found the cutest pair of red patent peeptoes and actually thought about her reaction to them. my DD and I laughed about me wearing them with a very conservative covered-up outfit, I mean what could she say/think?? Red Patent Wedge Peeptoes with skinny ankle straps, mixed message shoes for sure :)

I didn't end up buying them b/c I really don't need them, I'm so proud of myself, lol. I do feel pressured by this situation though.

Oh, I forgot, it's me Midnight :)

editor said...

iheartfashion - 3 cheers for not "giving up" lol
my guy is the same - style is appreciated... as well as a bit of neck showing. :)

midnight (things are still goofy for you with google?) - kudos for not buying the shoes if you didn't need them (red patent peep-toe wedges? are you sure you didn't need them? lol), and kudos for being sympathetic/compassionate about this other woman's sensitivities. that said, i'm going to say something insensitive - your clothing is about you. if you go into a place of worship, you show respect, yes! because you are a guest there, but if you are socializing in a neutral environment, then your clothing is your choice (imo). if everyone were to conceal themselves to her liking, it would not alter the complicated feelings she has every right to have re. her body. you do not have any emotional or physical inhibitions (i assume) about covering up, so why should you not?
i have an issue with a part of my body (none of your business, lol) that is deformed. when i see others easily revealing that same area, while it stings, i would never ever ever EVER expect, demand or even hope that they would conceal their body or alter their style. my feelings are about and come from within me. i can't (and shouldn't) control what other people do.
(this is all just my opinion though - not the gospel, and in your place, i think i would pause and consider her before getting dressed too, and maybe grab a cardigan on my way out to see her).

Anonymous said...

i appreciate your thoughts Editor! I know what you are saying about not having expectations about others, I try to be really careful about that myself. There is so much in our culture today to make us feel inadequate in one way or another as it is. I don't want to contribute to that by judging others.

I am in a unique situation with the lady as it is actually a house church. We all dress casually, it's not formal but it is a worship service at the same time. Her modesty/clothing issues are a spiritual thing to her so there is a little more pressure to conform to her tastes. She is in the minority so as long as I can respect her AND respect myself I think it can work out. The girl who just had a tummy tuck and breast implants (discreet, no one would guess unless they knew her before) is actually the one who bothers her more. Still, I need to be mindful so my ultimate answer to the Q is YES....I consider others, I consider peer pressure to a degree.

It's actully not going to kill me to cover up a little. I did buy some pretty sleeveless silk tops to layer over the tanks so that at least I give the illusion of coverage. The peer pressure led to some unexpected creativity :)

The Google thing...ACCCCK they hate me!!!! Love, Midnight

Anonymous said...

Now that my style-finding process is rather a solo experience, I am not very swayed by others' opinions. But that could also be because my partner and friends are creative types too so I don't get much besides compliments for my daily get-ups...which I appreciate.

I enjoy feedback about outfits from people whose opinions I am interested in though. I think it can be very fun to find a group of like-minded stylers and form a fashion-nerd community. :)

Carlene said...

Like Iheartfashion, I think I've grown out (mostly) of the need to impress anyone with my appearance at all. But I have pretty high standards for myself, and I try not to offend, so you won't be seeing me in my pajamas, Birks and socks at the grocery store any time soon, nor will you find me flashing any cleavage in the daytime.

However, I do, even as an adult, occasionally enjoy wearing something that pisses off my mom.