Seeing is believing


earlier this year i bought a scarf. i chose the color based on which one i found most attractive for me to look at, not which one might make me the most attractive. the sales associate at the store asked if i wanted to see it on in front of a mirror and my response was, "doesn't matter, i won't be the one having to look at me when it's on." he looked at me like i was...an alien. as i've mentioned before, i do this a lot, choose based on what i like to look at, rather than what necessarily looks good on me. in a perfect world, they would be one and the same.

philosophically or intellectually there is a style that appeals to me, independent of me (my body, shape, coloring, etc.). i wonder, if i just wear the clothing i like (independent of what looks best on me), will they just magically "suit" me? or do i have to listen to the mirror?

which do you put a higher premium on - how you want to look, or how you actually look?

5 comments:

Iheartfashion said...

When i was in high school there was a brief craze for "Color Me Beautiful" and everyone was learning what season they were which color palette they should wear. Despite several attempts by a friend's mother who was heavily into it, no one could decide if I was a Winter or an Autumn, and I'm afraid I still don't really know which colors flatter me, other than that yellow doesn't. But that still hasn't stopped me from wearing it on occasion...

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately how things look on me matters more to me especially since photos are forever. That said, I am wistful of styles that do nothing for my own shape but look so well on tinier people. But in the end the important thing for me is to feel as sleek (read thin) as possible and the styles that enable that are what I buy.

GenX Theorist said...

Hmm, I've been mulling this question over heavily...and my answer is: how I actually look, with the caveat that how I actually look goes beyond purely the physical asthetic and a bit into the realm of how I actually am...as in...what my daily life entails and how my wardrobe assists me in navigating things. For example, I'm an urban rat, so there's a certain amount of protective qualities in apparel that I employ. Or, how I actually look makes a big statement about my values, beliefs and personality, so that's in my decision process too. (Gen X punk infused attitude, etc.)

But truly, I think over the years I've really started to accept and understand how I do actually look and how all those other things support my essential self. And, it's funny, but the closer I get to that the closer I get to actually feeling healthier and stronger in some big overall way.

I do like to catch glimpses of myself in windows (my friends and I actually joke about it...saying "hello gorgeous" to ourselves as we pass mirrors and such)...but it's not really so much about narcissus as it is just trying to understand how I really look and does that match up with my internal image of myself.

I truly think this whole thing is related to self confidence - something I believe everyone should have! :)

editor said...

iheartfashion - bravo. i say, wear the damn yellow!

anonymous - is your fashion goal entirely for clothing to compliment/flatter your body/enhance an appearance of thinness?

genx theorist - it trips me out to realize that people looking at me see something different than how i see myself. they see a physical me. i have a very little relationship with the physical/visual me since i see so little of it. just my hands, feet, the tip of my nose. a vehicle for getting around, you know. catching a glimpse always surprises me. and then i associate people i know with their visual appearance, but maybe then i am relating heavily to something that, similarly for them, is just their outside...
(i swear i'm not having a mental break, lol)

Anonymous said...

definitely how i actually look.
this is why I am a "try on" freak. I try on every single piece before purchase. even that I do still make mistake..clouded judgement at times.
that's why eshopping doesn't happen very often on my computer. unless i already tried on the piece and just go on internet to find a good price.