Insecurity is not pretty

endearing picture, yes, but no one wants their style likened to a wet dog. insecurity is not pretty.
i am confident about my taste. i know what i like and what i don't like, but recently i found myself questioning why i like what i like. specifically: i recently got a blazer - it's tailored, sharp, cool, unique, essentially anti-frump. basically all good things that i like and that appeal to me. i think i thought that wearing this blazer would ward off things i don't like (frumpiness). but what if inside, i really am more of a cozy cardigan? is the piece right for me, or am i being led by fear instead of style?

are you aware of your insecurities and how they inform your purchases?


Nancy said...


I always dress to suit my mood. If I am happy, I might wear bright colors or something distinctive. If I am sad, long socks, a skirt and teeshirt. My inside state is reflected in my protective exo-layer of clothing.

Sometimes it works the other way around: happy duds cure a blue mood, comfortable clothes cheer me up!

editor said...

yes nancy, your answer helped me reshape the question actually, because i think what you describe is very typical. i changed it to how insecurities (specifically insecurities, not just general moods/state of minds) inform our purchases (not just what we choose on a daily basis). i don't think insecurities necessarily dictate on a daily basis - in my case i felt like it was the exception, rather than the rule, anyway.

WendyB said...

That's a Peke!!!! Right?

Nancy said...

Ah, yes. The question was a bit unclear.

When buying things, I always think of how they make me look, and what image they project. Some years ago when I was emerging from my teenage goth affliction, I wanted a new style. Some of the things I bought during that period were so far from what I realistically could get away with at the time that I never even wore them.

After a while, I unearthed a style that I enjoyed wearing and said what I wanted to say to the world.

Back then my insecurities were that I didn't want to wear dark scary things anymore, but I also didn't want to go so far over to the other side that my friend's heads exploded. I was having a hard time deciding what appealed to me.

Nowadays, I know what I like and want to project to the world. I don't care so much about what others think, and I buy things that fit well and suit my general aesthetic. I plan out what I want to buy before I go shopping, how much I want to spend, and what I am going to eat on shopping days. Maintaining one's blood sugar is paramount to staying on a budget.

Anonymous said...

I have definitely had moments where I am buying for an image rather than for my own taste - sometimes it's for a specific event, so I am worried about the impression I will make, and sometimes I get into a mood about an insecurity, and then turn to retail therapy, and obviously choices I make at that point are going to be tied up in the insecurity that started it all.
Evil cycle, isn't it?!

Alexandra said...

Yes, yes, yes. I'm insecure about my ability to match colors and to realistically assess if two colorful things go together or clash with each other or my skin tone or my I tend to stay safe by wearing mostly black, and gray, and other neutrals.

Deirdre said...

I have big boobs and am afraid if I show even the slightest amount of cleavage people will think I'm a whore. So I never by blouses / dresses with cleavage.

I wish I could dress my cleavage without fear.

editor said...

wendyb - hard to tell in this state, but that sounds/looks right - unfortunately this little squirt does not belong to me. look at that adorable mouth though... *sigh*

enc said...

Sometimes, I am not aware of my insecurities until I get home with something that only fits into my fantasy life. I buy things for my fantasy life because I feel like my real life isn't "cool" enough. Other times, I won't buy something because I feel I'm too "old," or I can't pull it off because of some bodily imperfection. This is a great question, by the way.

The Seeker said...

I think I'm aware of my insecurities, so I tend to shop thinking of them. Like, as I always think I'm fat, if I mearly think that a piece could make me look fater, I just don't buy it even if I love it.

This is a great matter to discuss, congrats.

And the dog is so cute, is that yours? :)


editor said...

enc - age is a tricky one to navigate, to be sure!

theseeker, no, this little guy is not mine. thanks for joining the discussion though!!

landis smithers said...

i am informed by the need to not look ugly.