What ails you


do you suffer from a chronic shopping problem? pick your insanity* (or id a new one - i am adding them as they occur to me throughout the day):

multiple personality disorder - you veer from one extreme to another and your many parts do not come together to form a coherent whole.

hallucinations
- something looks good in the store mirror, but inexplicably wrong at home; or seemed like a good idea when you clicked "buy" but seems utterly unappealing when it arrives.

obsessive-compulsive disorder
- particular to the point where it interferes with your happiness/satisfaction with anything; or you refuse to try something new, always going to the same stores, looking at the same styles.

attention deficit disorder - you have an idea of what you need or want one minute, and then completely lose focus and get sidetracked by something else entirely.

kleptomaniac - (self-explanatory.)

paranoia - also known as insecurititis - you "can't pull a certain look off" or generally lack the confidence to buy what you are actually drawn to.

xenophobia - fear of trying something new.

claustrophobia - fear of dressing rooms, or small boutiques.

hypochondria - hung up on imagined personal physical flaws

depression - nothing in your closet ever satisfies you or seems quite right.

* a light-hearted post; i do not mean to mock mental illness.

11 comments:

enc said...

Suffers from frequent bouts of hallucinations and ocd, with the occasional onset of paranoia.

Iheartfashion said...

Put me down for hallucinations, ADD, and hypochondria. What do you prescribe, Doc?

Iheartfashion said...

Oh, and manic depression: veering from one extreme to the other, where I love something one day only to despise it and wonder what it's doing in my closet the next.

Alexandra said...

Hmmm. Thinking of this worries me immensely.
Put me down for ocd, paranoia, and hypochondria.

Sad, very sad!

UniformLady said...

hallucinations all the way!!
the paranoia
hypochondria
and more halluncination.
(what frustrates me the most is I try on everything in store. and it can "fit perfectly" in one minute, and too big or too small when i get home).

TravelGretta said...

I just read the first sentence and thought "Oh crap, my mom emailed you, didn't she."

Bryan said...

A well-written post. Agree with you. You can learn more on how to cure attention deficit disorder at www.attention-deficit-disorder.net. It may take quite some time to cure, but it's definitely a good try.

a. said...

ha ha ha... this post is hilarious! i would definitely self-diagnose as hallucinatory (probably my biggest problem) with bouts of ADD, depression and paranoia (particularly when i was younger... i've grown out of it a bit). and multiple personalities... who DOESN'T go through that as a teen/young adult?

but i must say, my recent attempts to seriously plan out my fashion purchases, and to stick to a budget, have really started to change all of this. you CAN stop the insanity! (anyone remember that tagline?)

fashionaddict said...

I definitely have OCD - very little I see in realise are "perfect" enough. It limits my satisfaction in a lot of ways, though when I do come across something "just right", it strengthens the thrill.

The solemn cat said...

I think I may be suffering from psychosis as I'm completely delusional about how much money I have to spend.

The solemn cat said...

And can I add amnesia?
I always forget what I actually own